Before we even start discussing why you are still holding on to that person, it’s necessary to refresh our minds on what a toxic relationship is. You might at the end realise you are just going through a difficult time, because no relationship is perfect. Therefore do not jump to conclusions too fast.
A toxic relationship is basically one that constantly drains you. http://www.psychologytoday.com says it is one that is unfavourable to you or to others. This means, at least one person is unhappy because of how they’re treated. I talked with some friends and family members who had a lot to say about toxic relationships. This is what I gathered:
- I can’t be myself around him
- She’s not supportive of my dreams
- He always makes me feel like I am worth a cent and no one will take me if he left me
- When I need her she’s never around, meanwhile I am always there for her
- They never show concern about what is happening to me, all they care about is themselves
- He wants to shape me into an imaginary perfect person
- She wants me to live her dreams, damn I just want to do my thing
- We keep on fighting about everything
- She doesn’t trust me
- I am never enough no matter what I do
- We don’t communicate
- I am always trying to please him
- She has hurt me multiple times and keep promising she’ll change
- He disrespects me anytime he can
- There is no good news, non stop issues and I can’t do this anymore
- I decided to jeopardise my life to help him
- I give everytime and get nothing in return
- She threatens to hurt herself when we have a problem
- I purposely make him jealous to get a reaction
- I stopped talking to my friends and family for him
- He can’t stand my success
- I don’t feel comfortable with him, sometimes I have to lie because I can’t tell him exactly how I feel
- She’s always blaming me
- He buys me gifts to ask for forgiveness and I always fall for it
- They’re ashamed of who I am and what I do
So much about toxic relationships and even more. You don’t have to keep on hurting. If it’s not working, talk about it. You both or all deserve to be happy, even if it means putting an end to the relationship. Some people are just not meant to stay together. “Toxic partners, friends and family members.” They are here for a time, to make us mature for example. Life is too short to hold on to a person that will cause your downfall. Let go!
If they are willing but don’t know how to love you, are you teaching them how to ? Do they get it ? Is the love you want to receive detrimental to them in any kind of way ? Could you be part of the problem ? Let them go!
Sometimes we stay because we lack self-love.Vanick Kam
Once you escape from a toxic relationship you might still be traumatised for a long time. You might not let anybody else love you, because you don’t trust anymore or you don’t think you deserve to be loved. Learn how to love yourself. It is the second step to healing. Speaking from personal experience.
Nonetheless, like I said, do not give up on someone with whom you’re just going through a rough time. It doesn’t happen everyday. If you walk hand in hand and do not constantly live the same issues that were solved before, then you’re not in a toxic relationship.