I portray myself as a very strong lady. However, strong people have weaknesses too.
It’s always been difficult for me to understand why a human being can judge another human being for whatsoever reason. If we learn how to mind the business that serves us personally, we will be great individuals.
Being in a foreign country and travelling a lot has made me discover a multitude of cultures. I have come to understand that people who judge others are insecure. They’re not happy, are lacking in some aspects of their life and therefore decide to criticize others in order to feel better about their flaws, to make them feel superior, and comfort them in their failures.
I like talking about racism because it’s real. You can pretend it doesn’t exist but when you see it, no matter how confident you are, it makes you feel bad. It can take some seconds or some days and even months to regain your self-esteem.
So after an incident that happened 2 weeks ago, where I was spit on because of my skin colour, I started fearing the following things:
1. To sit in the public transport next to someone, because they might be uncomfortable and even change seats.
2. To enter the tram and someone looks at you to see if you will buy a ticket.
3. To enter a shop but find nothing and decide to leave, hopefully they don’t follow me thinking I put something in my pocket.
4. To walk around in a shop for minutes without finding what I want and the workers start keeping an eye on me.
5. To enter a swimming pool and some people leave.
6. To share an idea for a group work and no one actually considers it.
7. To walk behind someone at night and they stop so I can walk pass them.
8. To not be given an information which literally everyone is given or deserves to know.
9. To have people pretend to appreciate you but are uncomfortable to be seen with you in public.
Whenever I experience something racist, it makes me have more and more fears. But I am working on me, to keep my head high always.